


your painted skies

by komikamii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Character Death, M/M, Painter Oikawa, Sad Ending, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24587305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komikamii/pseuds/komikamii
Summary: "Are you going to die?"Oikawa Tooru is going to die. Iwaizumi Hajime knows that, but he keeps asking.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	your painted skies

“Are you going to die?”

The first time Hajime asked that, Tooru burst out laughing. “Don’t ask silly things like that,” he said. “Of course I’m not.”

The second time, he just smiled and continued painting a blue sky on his canvas, looking out of the hospital window to the lively city below and to the serene sky above. His hands trembled a little as he painted the soft strokes of clouds and the delicate silhouettes of birds in the distance. “Don’t be stupid,” he said softly.

The third time, he was painting another sky. The first canvas he’d painted was leaning against the wall, all but abandoned halfway through. His fingers were somehow delicate though his body was shaky and frail. That day’s sky was just the same as every other day’s: blue and empty. He answered the question just as he always did: “Don’t be silly”. But…this time, he hesitated.

Hajime twisted his fingers. “Are you going to come back to college soon, then? The others all miss you.”

“Tell them to come visit,” Tooru said. He never answered Hajime’s question.

The fourth time Hajime asked, Tooru gave him the same answer. He always gave that same answer. Hajime knew he should trust his friend, but Tooru was getting so thin and worn out that he knew something had to be wrong. He still wouldn’t tell him anything. He just kept painting the same sky, every day. Skies were all he painted. He never finished any of them.

When Hajime left that day, Tooru was crying.

The fifth time was weeks later. Hajime couldn’t bear to come after the last time. The emotional burden was too much for him. He felt crushed, utterly destroyed. Tooru couldn’t be dying, could he? Every time he asked, he just told him it was silly, but… He just looked so fucking weak.

“Of course not. That’s silly,” Tooru said for what seemed like the millionth time, with his same smile like nothing had happened. For the first time, he wasn’t painting a sky. He wasn’t painting anything. His canvas lay abandoned on the floor amongst a half a dozen or so unfinished others. His paint brushes lay as if they had been left untouched since the last time Hajime had been here.

“Don’t lie to me,” Hajime said, more strongly. “Just tell me the truth. Are you going to die?”

He was trying to keep his composure, but his throat closed up and his eyes stung. He bit his tongue and prayed he wouldn’t cry in front of Tooru.

Tooru took Hajime’s face in his shaking hands and wiped away a stray tear that slid down his face. “It’s fine, I swear,” he said. “This is all just temporary. I’m gonna get better and come back to college with you guys. And when that happens, let’s all go make memories together, okay?”

Hajime smiled, allowing a few more tears to fall. “Yeah,” he murmured. “That sounds nice.”

Of course, Tooru was lying.

The sixth time Hajime asked, he was holding Tooru’s hand in his, with nothing but the sounds of machines and their fragile heart beats to accompany them. It was well past any decent hour. The room was getting cold and Hajime kept accidentally drifting off. Every time he snapped awake, he was scared Tooru was already gone. Somehow, he was still holding on. Somehow, a selfish part of Hajime hoped some miracle would save him.

“I don’t mind if you sleep,” Tooru said, his voice quiet. He sounded fragile, like any small movement could ruin the stability of his world. “Just hold my hand. Please.”

And so, Hajime climbed into the hospital bed, and he held Tooru’s hand until he slipped off.

“Are you going to die? Please don’t die,” he said right before his dreams claimed him.

There was no response. In the morning, Hajime woke up to Tooru’s cold, soulless hand no longer gripping his.

That was the last time Hajime would ever ask that question.

Weeks later, he finally got the courage to collect Tooru’s paintings from his mother. “He said he wanted you to have these,” she said, gesturing to the pile of incomplete blue and white canvases with varying degrees of shakiness.

Hajime kneeled down next to them and pulled them out of the pile one by one. Now that he looked at them closer, they really were beautiful paintings. He could feel Tooru’s soul in every delicate stroke, every blank space he’d left when he abandoned it. When he flipped over the first painting to get out the next one, he noticed a note painted on the other side of the canvas.

_You keep asking. You know the answer, don’t you?_

For the first time since Tooru had died, he let himself cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Not saying I was inspired by Shukufuku No Namae Wa by Kizu Natsuki but I was and it's really good, so definitely check that one out! Thanks for reading! This is my very first fanfiction that I've published, so I hope I did them justice <3


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